Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
