when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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