They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
