Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
