she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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