We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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