Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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