worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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