what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
