She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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