There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
