I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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