bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
