I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
