I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
