So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
