We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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