Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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