Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
