I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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