he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
