We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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