I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
