i jhust puked up my retainher.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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