I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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