Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
