I feel like abortions should bother me more
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
