i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hippo gnu deer
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
