You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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