I got her a Nickelback box set.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
