I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
