super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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