how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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