Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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