Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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