Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
