P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
