Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Mom said you looked used
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
