The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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