i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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