so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
