His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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