Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
