was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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