I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
