ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
