It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize