Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
