Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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