Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize