Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
