I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
