His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
