I cockslap morals
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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