I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
