he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i've created a new STD.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
