My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
