3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
