we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize