Do vagina's smell?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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