so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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