Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
