handjob tips. give me some.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
