is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
