Yo dont text me then not text me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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