"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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