I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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