I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
