Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Randomize
