I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
