that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
