So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
