So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
