Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
now i know why i became what i already was.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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