She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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