we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
